Love, Mom

Written By: RealAnge

Dearly Departed,

   Although I was not alone in my loss that day, I was the only one that knew you. I need you to know life did not continue on without you. Together we've been gone since that moment in time. I have tried to find you everywhere and anywhere. What more appropriate place to try and find you as I too, am departing....




      Taking flight into the same blue thin air I imagined you traveling through when you disappeared. The land beneath me slowly minimizes and I remember always picturing you journeying to where you are now, very similarly. Although you didn't have any alone time in this world, I hope your time with me did let you see beautiful. At times, I believe that was my purpose. I was to give you a way through to your destination, my beloved. Maybe like me, you too thought you'd land. Know, I wouldn't mind staying up here with you. It's been impossible for me to get on as if I never met you. When I've told them I remember, they know I can't forget.
       I've tried years to find my home here with you missing. All efforts have been exhausted. I can't afford to live and breathe where I last saw your heart beating. I am trying now to displace myself in efforts to feel home again. But, there is no escaping the aching gap that now resides in my gut. My daily life, is an incomplete story that seems to drag on so wrongly. When I look up to pray to you, clouds stare back like hovering spirits. In this flight, it feels I have lifted off to stare back down at the Earth as it remains now and forever shady. There's no flight long enough to take me away from the memories.
      I imagine I'll find you here among the clouds. I wish I could feel your presence again; seeing you floating along as if time were all yours anew. Are you the tiny one with the larger one near reflective of me? Are you the collective chain of endless puffs that I can see? I hope you are accompanied still, but I am alone here. Where are you?

     Up here I can look down at the real remnants of the events that day. An absence that swept and robbed us all of the continued affection of our admired spouses, children, and fellow mankind. I was left without you.
     You are the greatest loss of my life and you came when I thought I was losing everything. I'm sorry that I put so much faith in your ability to fix everything. All of my only hope was wrapped up tiny for holding onto. Ready for a new beginning with a feeling of hope, you were gone as fast as you became my new reality. I loved and lost you instantly. Again, everyday, you were gone.
They blame me because I couldn't forget and I would never choose to. I've heard you wanted me to forget you. How could you?

Since watching The Leftovers, I have always felt attracted to further trying to understand Laurie Garvey. I know I wasn't alone wondering about her life since the Departure until her entry into the Guilty Remnant. I too questioned her overall sanity. She stands out to me as the most complexly built character yet. She remembers, and that means as long as Laurie is around, we will never forget.

Every time I listen to Mary and Blake Larsen from The Living Reminders Podcast, they feature the James Blake track "Retrograde". I remember first spotting Laurie as the camera starts to drag out eyes right to her. This song was introduces her on Hero's Day when she makes her public appearance around Kevin. Eventually, I began to mourn for her loss of a "hot cop", bulge-flapping, husband who seemingly saved her & her son Tommy from a violent ex and gave her a daughter.




 **Note, I gained respect for Mary for calling out both of Mr. Garvey's jogging scenes (Pilot and The Garvey's at Their Best [I'D say!]). It made me an instant fan. For a mother and wife to acknowledge how The Leftovers made sure to add human desire and sex appeal to the totality of the human experience was inspiring. So thank you Mary for being real and not leaving me alone in noticing the all-encompassing beautiful truth of the striking realness in this show.**

Amazingly, Laurie's character speaks to us more and more with her continued deep silence. She keep us believing in never forgetting. She is the only Guilty Remnant I can relate to, and I think that although they're peculiarly off, they do offer Laurie and us a place to grieve. Luckily I feel there are many holes left in her story for us to learn about. I expect Laurie's character to continue developing, along with Kevin and his new beginnings.

Also, in Season 1's Pilot, Laurie has a unique to Leftovers booming flashback. It seems to be Laurie witnessing a playground brawl. How does this trail of violence seem to follow her, Tommy, Kevin and Jill's developing personality?

The intent here, is to feel like Laurie. Can you see her feeling this way?  There were scenes in Episode 1 of the first season that lead to a glimpsing peak into a possibly violent past for Laurie and Tommy. Can you imagine her wanting to find her completeness again, trying to get away from it all and yet feeling a need to dedicate her life in remembrance?

Do you feel a connection to Laurie Garvey?

Do you want more chat about The Leftovers? Get your fix by listening to The Living Reminders Podcast with detailed show discussion and amazing interviews with cast, crew, writers and directors of The Leftovers on HBO.